For many people, the simple act of talking in front of others paralyzes them with fear, and they avoid networking because of it. In fact, public speaking is the No. 1 fear of Americans—death is No. 7! As comedian Jerry Seinfeld says, “At a funeral, you’d rather be lying in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”

A lot of people have fears and challenges with networking for the same exact reason that people have fears and challenges with public speaking: they’re afraid they’re going to look stupid. Or not know what to say. They’re afraid they’re not going to know how to handle the questions. “The spotlight is on me. What if I screw up?”

So what does this have to do with networking? Well, networking is a form of public speaking so the same fears and deterrents apply. This goes for sales producers and job searchers alike.

This is a story I’ve told before but it bears repeating. I teach a public-speaking class at Rutgers University. One of my former students, Nicole, almost withdrew from my course because she was so terrified of speaking in front of the class.

In my first class, I have the students get up and speak about themselves. (It is a public speaking class you know.) At the end of the first class, Nicole came up to me after everyone else left and said, “I have to apologize. I don’t want to waste your time. I can’t take this class.” I asked her, “Why? Did I mess up already?”

She chuckled and answered, “No, no. It’s just that I’m absolutely terrified.”

I said, “Yeah, but you did so well. And you need this class to graduate.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m going to have to figure something out.”

“No, I can’t allow you to do that,” I said.

Right then, her mother called on her cell phone, and as Nicole spoke with her, she was almost in tears. Her mom was trying to convince her to stick it out. Then I said, “Nicole, do me a favor, hand me the phone.”

I said, “Hello, Mrs. Nicole’s Mom. This is Michael Goldberg, the instructor. Listen, your daughter is beside herself. Please help me keep her in this class, and I promise that she will overcome this fear, and be one of the best in the class. I will work with her—I will do whatever it takes, otherwise this is going to haunt her forever. And I can’t allow that. So if you can work with me on keeping her in this class, I will do the best that I can.”

That particular semester, we were videotaping students as they gave speeches and we would often start the class by critiquing a taped presentation from the previous week. Sometimes we would critique a newscaster or even a celebrity. So I popped in a DVD and we watched David Letterman deliver his monologue. And suddenly Nicole appeared on the show!

At the end of the clip, Nicole stood up in front of the class and gave a presentation about how she has overcome her fear, what happened, what was going through her mind and how appreciative she was of the class.

By overcoming her fear, Nicole had an incredible experience that she will never forget. And she will probably have many more—she will meet people she would otherwise never meet and have experiences that she would be too fearful to have otherwise.

What are the Letterman Top 10 opportunities you’re missing out on?

How do you approach someone at a networking event?  How do you start a conversation?

The key to approaching someone at a networking event is knowing that your intention is to make a friend and learn something about them – their work, their goals, their interests. (Script 8-10 questions ahead of time with this in mind.)  If you’re genuine and ask good questions they may return the favor and ask similar questions about you.  That’s how it works.  If in doing so you can explore how you can help one another (referrals, intros to centers of influence, important information) that’s a good thing.  If you can build a relationship with them over time while continuing to explore helping one another, that’s a great thing.

I recently started taking yoga classes at my gym – it’s a Tuesday and Thursday early morning endeavor. Kind of unnerving when walking into a class of older women (and by older, I mean older than me) who have had this yoga cult-like bond thing for years. Morning ladies! I thought yoga was about getting in touch with your inner being while stretching and relaxing to a place of peace and balance – something like that. But it ain’t, not really. At the bark of every - up dog, cobra, camel, bridge, wheel - command by the instructor, you’re expected to synchronize your pose with those in the class. Of course, this is after you interpret the lingo and sneak a peak at your fellow yogis in the mirror – those that actually know what they’re doing. The result is lame attempts at throwing your body into the most awkward and compromising contortions (called postures or poses) imaginable. Sound like fun? It takes a lot of guts and determination to hang in there – especially if you’re new.

Much to my surprise - I like it. I like it a lot. Why? Every time I go to another class, I can stretch (yes, physically stretch) further, faster, and with much less effort. I may have even earned some respect from my fellow yogis – although that might be pushing it. The best thing is that I find myself working that much harder at stretching myself a bit further in sports, martial arts, relationships, and yes – even work. How about that!

Now, I know this is a stretch (pun intended), but I think many of the philosophies of yoga apply to what we do (or try to do) as sales professionals, business owners, and managers. Here are just a few.

Enjoy the exciting journey, not the destination.
If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing today, you’ll have a hard time getting there tomorrow. You may not even show up tomorrow. Quit now and do something else.

Only you can know your boundaries – challenge yourself to expand.
Establish your limits each week, month, quarter, and year as to what’s possible – but just barely possible. Really push yourself, but within reason. Now create the steps necessary to get there. As you take each step, you will see how what was once just barely possible is now very possible. Even probable! Don’t just sit there. Do it now.

Don’t be afraid to try something new.
You’ll almost never learn more and perform better at anything if you don’t challenge yourself to try something new - new interests, activities, associations, people, techniques, and adventures. Give it a try. You can always go back – the tough part is moving forward.

You must fall first to overcome your fears.
Whether it’s a yoga posture, sales meeting, or presentation, if you don’t push yourself to failure (or falling down), you’ll never get closer to success or overcoming your fears. What postures do you need to try to get closer to success?

Use your mind to persevere through the body.
Often by telling yourself you can, - you can. We absolutely don’t do this enough. Of course, if you tell yourself you can’t, you’re right!

Karma – dedicate each session to someone that’s a positive influence.
This is big in yoga – beginning and ending each session with positive thoughts. Ironically, I’ve been doing this for years in my speaking. Before every seminar, workshop, or keynote I deliver, I dedicate it (not verbally) to someone in my life that made it possible for me to do the work that I do. Who are the mentors, advocates, and supporters in your life?

The philosophies yoga embraces integrates emotion, action, and intelligence to every pose and posture. Challenge yourself to integrate them in the areas of your life that need it the most. I know it’s a stretch. Down dog!

Everything! (Yes, I could have ended it right there.) There are three major characteristics that top sales producers seem to have – the belief they can be top sales producers, great listening skills, and the ability to speak with confidence and conviction.

As sales professionals, nearly 75 percent of our time is spent making presentations in some way, shape, or form. Do we think of ourselves as public speakers? Probably not, but we depend on our speaking skills to share our messages clearly and with credibility, whether we are speaking on the phone, in a one-on-one meeting, or to a group.

Your speaking (what you say) and delivery (how you say it) skills are an immediate demonstration of executive ability (and passion) and may very well be the number one reason why a sale is made or lost. It amazes me how many sales professionals tend to minimize the importance of how they speak and deliver their message.

Prospects have to see your presentation as effective - your products and services worthwhile. Just providing information makes you just like your competitor – it doesn’t mean you are selling. There has to be a ‘call to action’.

The four basic elements of selling – attracting the prospect, interesting the prospect, convincing the prospect, and closing the sale – must be in your sales presentation.

If all we do is provide information, we fail to guide the prospect through each phase of the four sales elements. Making your presentation informative, interesting, timely, interactive, dynamic, and action oriented will set you way apart from your competition – believe me!

Yeah, yeah – I know what you’re thinking. Sales presentations (especially in front of a group) ain’t easy – if it were, everyone would be doing it. Yes, it takes guts and lots of practice. Did I mention guts? But you have to start somewhere, ay? Why not start now?

Make every opportunity you can to practice your sales presentation. Ask for positive and critical feedback from others and improve your presentation each and every time. If you do, you will be on the path to increasing your closing ratio (and your income) and motivating others to act on your ideas. That’s my sales pitch.