You MUST have a focused communication strategy and a targeted network for your networking efforts to be effective - especially in the beginning.

Serendipitous Networking: Meeting someone by chance and having the opportunity to introduce yourself and learn about one another.  In this type of situation you might exchange business cards and helpful information.

Strategic Networking:  Having a laid out plan to go to the right places, say the right things, meet the right people, and follow up accordingly to achieve a specific goal.

Networking is a process, not an event. It should be continuous and cyclical. It takes time to develop relationships and establish enough trust for others to feel comfortable referring you. The goal is to learn and create a mutual attraction where you will ultimately be introduced to prospects and referral sources that are interested in learning more about you and your services.

Speed networking that is! From a fun standpoint, this is one of my favorite types of networking venues. It’s based on the format of speed dating (talk about fun!). I used to facilitate and run these speed-networking events. And even that was fun! Speed networking groups and those that organize them are very selective about the people who sign up for their events. Everyone at the event is prescreened to insure that they’re in different professions. They don’t want to have 14 financial advisors attending; that would defeat the purpose. But imagine attending a speed networking event as a financial advisor and connecting with a CPA, estate planning attorney, and banker who understood (like you) the value of giving? Now that’s not a bad blind date.

There are usually 20 to 22 participants. If there are more attendees, they will be split into two groups.  You start off face to face, nose to nose, belly to belly with somebody. A bell rings, and you have five minutes to spend with each person—that’s two and a half minutes each—to talk about who you are, what you do and with whom, to collaborate, and if you can help one another. You are not pitching people on your services. You’re pitching them on what you do and with whom you are looking to work. If there is a great connection there, you exchange cards. After the five minutes are up, the bell sounds, and the inside row circles to the right. Now you are face-to-face with somebody else. And so it goes.

Within an hour and a half, you have connected with 13 to 15 people. Sometimes food and cocktails are served. The time flies by, and it is a lot of fun, but by the end of the event, you are exhausted because you are “on” each time you meet a new person. It’s like you’re doing 15 takes of the same commercial. (Remember the movie Groundhog Day?) But you can walk away with 15 business cards which can equate to 15 follow ups, meetings, conversations, and who knows how many prospects. Beats cold calling!

Speed networking events are a missed opportunity for a lot of networkers, and certainly for plenty of financial advisors. Again, it’s an untapped resource. You meet a lot of people, and you never know where it’s going to lead you. You could end up with a date!

For many people, the simple act of talking in front of others paralyzes them with fear, and they avoid networking because of it. In fact, public speaking is the No. 1 fear of Americans—death is No. 7! As comedian Jerry Seinfeld says, “At a funeral, you’d rather be lying in the casket than delivering the eulogy.”

A lot of people have fears and challenges with networking for the same exact reason that people have fears and challenges with public speaking: they’re afraid they’re going to look stupid. Or not know what to say. They’re afraid they’re not going to know how to handle the questions. “The spotlight is on me. What if I screw up?”

So what does this have to do with networking? Well, networking is a form of public speaking so the same fears and deterrents apply. This goes for sales producers and job searchers alike.

This is a story I’ve told before but it bears repeating. I teach a public-speaking class at Rutgers University. One of my former students, Nicole, almost withdrew from my course because she was so terrified of speaking in front of the class.

In my first class, I have the students get up and speak about themselves. (It is a public speaking class you know.) At the end of the first class, Nicole came up to me after everyone else left and said, “I have to apologize. I don’t want to waste your time. I can’t take this class.” I asked her, “Why? Did I mess up already?”

She chuckled and answered, “No, no. It’s just that I’m absolutely terrified.”

I said, “Yeah, but you did so well. And you need this class to graduate.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m going to have to figure something out.”

“No, I can’t allow you to do that,” I said.

Right then, her mother called on her cell phone, and as Nicole spoke with her, she was almost in tears. Her mom was trying to convince her to stick it out. Then I said, “Nicole, do me a favor, hand me the phone.”

I said, “Hello, Mrs. Nicole’s Mom. This is Michael Goldberg, the instructor. Listen, your daughter is beside herself. Please help me keep her in this class, and I promise that she will overcome this fear, and be one of the best in the class. I will work with her—I will do whatever it takes, otherwise this is going to haunt her forever. And I can’t allow that. So if you can work with me on keeping her in this class, I will do the best that I can.”

That particular semester, we were videotaping students as they gave speeches and we would often start the class by critiquing a taped presentation from the previous week. Sometimes we would critique a newscaster or even a celebrity. So I popped in a DVD and we watched David Letterman deliver his monologue. And suddenly Nicole appeared on the show!

At the end of the clip, Nicole stood up in front of the class and gave a presentation about how she has overcome her fear, what happened, what was going through her mind and how appreciative she was of the class.

By overcoming her fear, Nicole had an incredible experience that she will never forget. And she will probably have many more—she will meet people she would otherwise never meet and have experiences that she would be too fearful to have otherwise.

What are the Letterman Top 10 opportunities you’re missing out on?

I met a young insurance sales rep a couple of years ago at a gig I was speaking at. We hit it off and stayed in touch.  Even had lunch together a couple of times. Recently he contacted me about getting together to discuss a business opportunity.  When I asked about it, he was guarded but then finally shared he was involved in one of those multi-level marketing deals.  Wanted to get me involved because of my speaking and of course, my network.  I thanked him for thinking of me but told him I wasn’t interested.  He wanted to meet and have lunch anyway, so on my next trip to his neck of the woods we met.  Seems most of the conversation was him trying to pitch me the MLM shtick.  I mean, marketing collateral, laptop, PowerPoint slides, the whole thing.  He didn’t seem discouraged by my lack of interest, change of subject, or my outright “no”.  Finally, the lunch ended and it was over. Or so I thought.

The next thing I knew (like that same day), I was hit with an email with a list of products, services, and the revenues generated selling these products. I sent him a note requesting to be taken off the list but that didn’t happen.  I just got more and more emails including the generic form letter telling me how stupid I was.  He followed up with a phone message asking me about the products and if I would be interested in creating a website to sell them or if I was interested in buying them myself.  This went on and on.  I returned his latest call just this week (our original lunch was back in October) to tell him to stop calling me and to remove me from all lists or it was going to get ugly.  I could not have been more direct.  He said,“OK, OK.  But can I call you back in 3 months to see if you’re interested then?” I said this would be our last call.

How many insurance agents, financial advisors, planners, and other salespeople just don’t get it? How many go way over the top to pitch their stuff?  Answer – too many! No means no or it gets ugly.

Focus on your prospects (I mean true prospects) and there are no worries.  A prospect is someone that knows you (or of you), values your work, and is interested in becoming a client now or later. That’s it! Awesome if it’s through a referral! How much of your marketing is focused on true prospects rather than on the proverbial suspect? No wonder so many reps fail!  If more reps “got it” maybe less would be focused on MLM schemes.